The Temporal Triad: Accountability, Discipline, and Stoicism

• The worst version of you is decomposing on the front end of the self-improvement continuum.
• The best version of you is thriving on the back end of the self-improvement continuum.

         Stepping outside of your comfort zone is like stepping into a parallel universe. Each day you outperform the man you were the day before, you're quantum leaping from one parallel universe to the next. Conquer the entire multiverse and become the best version of yourself yourselves!

            This is not your typical paint-by-numbers self-improvement book—this is self-improvement with a science fiction twist (or possibly, science fact. That all depends on whether or not you believe in the multiverse).

            For awhile now, professional pick up artists have been instructing men to emulate the Dark Triad of personality traits (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy) as a short term sexual strategy in order to attract women. Why? Because as we all know, women have a thing for bad boys. It doesn’t work the other way around though, does it? Any man who has ever dated a narcissistic psychopath will tell you that experience was no picnic.

              What does self-improvement and the multiverse have to do with the Dark Triad?

            A few years back, I lost 100 pounds and that weight loss journey was bombarded with all sorts of overwhelming turbulence. During that time, I was in a car accident, went through a divorce, and lost both my parents. It seemed like the universe was doing everything it could to keep me fat and miserable, so I just accepted my fate. Then, I decided I would literally cheat fate by reaching my goal weight at all costs. I became antifragile and used all those hardships as fuel. The harder life hit me, the harder I hit back, and eventually I reached my goal weight. Since rejecting my fate, it feels as if I've abandoned the timeline I was assigned at birth and managed to branch off into a parallel universe. Now, some people would argue that every single action I took was ultimately predetermined, and maybe they're right. Either way, Accountability, Discipline, and Stoicism got me to this place.

            Following the divorce and the weight loss, I got back into the dating scene and found myself in a serious relationship with a malignant narcissist. Though that relationship was short lived, it had a huge impact on my life. I studied narcissistic personality disorder and learned a great deal about not just her, but also about myself and the world around me. I educated myself on all four of the Cluster B personality disorders and learned of the Dark Triad. From there, I was able to connect many dots between self-improvement, self-destruction, those who are self-absorbed, and what it means to become self-actualized. You see, through my weight loss journey I was able to become the best version of myself by becoming the antithesis of my worst self. Then, my best self became entangled with a woman who was the worst version of herself. My core three traits are accountability, discipline, and stoicism. Her core three traits were narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. She was my polar opposite in every sense of the word. I already knew I was on the right path, but this realization was even further confirmation to me that I was on my way to reaching my full potential. The most efficient way to become the best version of yourself is by becoming not only the antithesis of your worst self, but also by becoming the antithesis of everything the Dark Triad represents. 

            Accountability, discipline, and stoicism aren’t exactly considered the sexiest traits for a man to have—it's not as if women are enticed by those qualities. However, without those traits you are nothing but a man child and you’ll remain stuck in perpetual adolescence for the rest of your life. The Temporal Triad is the foundation of masculinity, as well as the key to unlocking all other important masculine traits. I’m talking about traits such as confidence. As any pick up artist or dating coach will tell you, confidence is the number one trait women look for in a man. Then, in the same breath, they will tell you to emulate the confidence of a narcissist. If you know anything about pathological narcissism, then you know that narcissists fake their confidence. The fact is, their ego is very fragile and they are deeply insecure. Behind the scenes, narcissists are infantile crybabies. Why on earth would one strive to model themselves after such a person? If the idea of developing authentic genuine confidence as opposed to inauthentic narcissistic confidence is more appealing to you, then the Temporal Triad is the way to go about doing that, not the Dark Triad.

            Society at large is obsessed with a variety of topics and subjects that are both very healthy and very unhealthy—the positive and the negative—the light and the dark. Human nature is drawn to extremes. Self-help content is very popular these days, and so is content based on serial killers: books, movies, documentaries, miniseries, and podcasts all centered on disturbing true tales of gruesome murders and violent crime sprees. People are captivated by the minds of psychopaths, and they wonder what makes them tick. What does self-improvement have to do with the criminally insane? Everything and nothing. See, what makes them tick, what gives evil a purpose, is the direct opposite of the answer to most of your problems. If you lack purpose, if you’re desperate for a motivational spark, then look there. Oftentimes in life, the ideal solution to a problem can be found by looking in the opposite direction.

• Narcissism / Accountability 
• Machiavellianism / Discipline
• Psychopathy / Stoicism

            Narcissists and psychopaths make no attempts to suppress their malicious, self-serving, and manipulative nature—they fully embrace those traits, and as a result of embracing them, many become very successful in all facets of life. However, that is not the only possible way to go about achieving success. Accountability, discipline, and stoicism are a specific combination of very powerful traits that when prioritized work every bit as well together as narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. You don’t need to perform unethically, be devoid of empathy, morally bankrupt, and ruthlessly cutthroat in order to achieve your goals and turn your dreams into a reality. In fact, not only is the Temporal Triad an idealistic, honest, and principled man’s most efficient way to go about becoming successful, it’s the best defense system he can put in place to guard and protect himself in a world encumbered by Dark Triad types and other forms of toxic individuals who threaten to undermine his success. The Temporal Triad is both self-improvement and self-preservation.

            The Temporal Triad is what a meme maker would call a “Masculinity Starter Pack”. It’s not the answer to all of life’s problems, but if you’re as hopeless as I once was, then trust me, it’s the best place to start. I’m not a Navy Seal or an ex kick boxing champion. Truth be told, I’ve led a very unremarkable life, but I’ve managed to make remarkable changes within myself, and I know there are plenty of demoralized and disenfranchised men who could relate to my story and benefit from the message of this book. Men are in very poor shape these days, both physically and mentally. Fifty percent of men who self-delete have no history of mental illness. They simply feel as if they don’t belong—that there is no place for them in this world. Men’s morale is at an all-time low, and I’d like to see that change. I want to show men that their future isn’t as bleak and claustrophobic as it may seem. I know, because I was one of those men for a long time, and I managed to turn my life around in a big way. I figured out how to truly think outside the box and break free from my own bleak and claustrophobic future.

            When I say “think outside the box”, I’m not speaking figuratively—I mean quite literally you need to think outside the box. Our reality consists of four dimensions: three spatial dimensions (height, width, and depth) and one temporal dimension (time). Most people are only concerned with the height, width, and depth of their reality. Meanwhile, they take time for granted in one way or another. They do this either by procrastinating, or by being too impatient to see their goals through to completion, so they just give up. Then, they wonder why they can’t seem to make their dreams come true, as if it’s some big mystery. Time is your most valuable resource; you can’t afford to waste it. The worst version of yourself wants you to waste that valuable resource. Do you know who else seeks to manipulate you into wasting your life away by monopolizing your time? Toxic people, narcissists, and psychopaths. Ask yourself, how much time have you already willingly handed over to people who fit those descriptions? Every minute you allow them to remove from your life will impede your progress—it will now take you that much longer to become the best version of yourself. Each and every man is capable of reaching his full potential by refusing to allow those people to get the best of him.

            For fifty years we’ve been hearing the phrase “The Future is Female!”, but what’s their game plan? I don’t know too young many women with a solid plan for their own individual future, let alone The Future. It seems to me, most women are only concerned with the present. They remain focused on their immediate needs and desires, with very little regard for the future, if any at all. These days, women are consumed with FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). They want to experience all that life has to offer. Only then, after accumulating 10-20 years of ‘experience’ along with tons of mental baggage, are they finally ready to settle down with a man. After giving the best version of herself to dozens of Mr. Right Now’s, she expects Mr. Right to just miraculously show up like a super hero and save the worst version of her by making himself accountable for her future well-being.

           It's time for men to take a page out of women’s book and embrace the FOMO lifestyle. Not in terms of sexual partners, I mean in terms of attainable alternate realities full of opportunities and endless possibilities. You need to develop an abundance mindset as it relates to parallel universes and the way you perceive your future timeline. Limiting yourself to focusing on just one future is the equivalent of having acute tunnel vision. By perceiving your life as if you are shackled to just one isolated timeline, you are effectively handicapping yourself and seriously limiting your potential. The truth is, you’re not as confined to a bleak and claustrophobic future as you think you are. Think outside the box and cherry pick from the multiverse. First, set your sights on your current future timeline and smash it to pieces. Once that old continuum has been shattered, your vision of a perfectly content and fulfilling future will become crystal clear. What you want out of life will start to feel less intangible and start to feel more inevitable. Odds are that you are most likely living a very unremarkable life and destined for more of the same, just as I once was. So, try rewriting your destiny by becoming the most successful of all your ‘variants’ across the multiverse. What do you have to lose?

            When you hit rock bottom and everything feels completely hopeless, the most empowering thing you can do is challenge fate head on. Whether you actually believe in fate or not, it doesn’t matter. Live your life as if fate is real and it’s doing everything in its power to hold you in place, then resist and fight back with all that you have. If you are your own worst enemy, then your future will continue to be a perpetual series of stalemates because you are evenly matched—imagine arm wrestling with your clone. However, if you make an adversary out of something much more powerful than yourself, and you spar with it for a while, then you’ll soon find out what you’re really made of. It’s not about landing blows as much as it’s about being able to take hit after hit and still remain standing. Fate hits hard, but if you can withstand those blows, you’ll no longer be your own worst enemy. The worst version of yourself is going to throw in the towel once it sees what the best version of you is capable of.

            Self-help gurus and motivational speakers commonly use the phrase "put a dent in the universe". The way I see it, why settle for just putting a dent in the universe? Your goal should be nothing short of punching a hole through time and space—anyone can put a dent in the universe. How do you punch a hole through time and space? You do it by rejecting your current ill-fated future and becoming the absolute best version of yourself—one that was never destined to exist in the first place—not in this timeline, anyway. That's how you break the mold.

I want you to take this paradigm to the next level and use it to accomplish more than I have.

@brunusnolanus